Just some thinking.

Two entries in such a short period of time! Is the world coming to an end?!
I was actually just looking back at the last few entries, and they made me kind of sad. It made me realize, I've had less ups than downs in the past year and a half (or maybe it just seems that way since I focus on the negative things more than I do on the positive ones). The most positive thing in my life during this time, has been my relationship with Nate. There is no doubt about this at all. Even before we started dating, he didn't mind listening to me babble about all my problems when I didn't feel like I had anyone else who would listen. He has almost always been there for me, even though times haven't been the greatest to him either. He has always been so amazingly supportive of me, and completely understanding, even during rough times. I can honestly say, I don't know what I would have done without his support.
So, the last year and a half = not so good. And some of it, was from my own stupid mistakes, I admit it. I never should have stayed with Andrea, especially when I had bad feelings about it to begin with. I should have made myself go to work more often, even if I felt scared sometimes. I should have spoke my mind more often to dad after mom left.
There are a lot of things, I could have done differently. And a lot of things other people could have done differently. If I could, I would like to change a lot of things about the last year and a half.
I would have stood up to dad more often, and told him "NO! I don't want to spend another lonely weekend by myself while everyone else is out doing their own stuff." I should have just told him that I hated it when he would drink, and that it really bugged me, especially after the stuff that happened in the summer. Maybe I should have initially moved in with mom when she asked. I should have MADE dad take me to the doctor when I was sick and could hardly move from my bed for days. I should have told him that I hate Sharon, and that I hated how he spent every free moment of his time talking with her/being with her. I should have told him that I hated how he spent his money, and my money going to see Sharon, instead of paying for house bills. I should have told him how depressed I felt being stuck by myself all the time, and that I hated how everyone was taking advantage of how nice I am.

I guess, this is mostly a rant, that leads to how much I still hate dad. I don't even feel bad to say it. I hate my dad. I really tried not to, I felt bad about it to begin with, but I don't anymore. I have NO respect for him whatsoever. I dread talking to him, because it feels like nothing good can come from it.
Maybe I'm being selfish, and was being selfish then too, I don't know. Is it so wrong for me to have wanted someone to talk to me, other than to tell me to clean, or to ask for money to pay for bills (which didn't get paid even when I gave him money for them)...I just, hate him.

Ghostbusters Chat Log

And now, just because I find it cute, here is a conversation Nate and I had while watching Ghostbusters...Enjoi pls.

Continue Reading?

Class Evaluations (Lol!)

I honestly can't stop laughing each time I see this. It's so great. :)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

So..Tired..

Ugh. I'm so annoyed this morning. I got tired around midnight, and was going to go to bed, but everyone goes "No, you should stay up and talk to me!", or "Aw but I'll be bored playing WoW without someone to talk to!" blah, blah. So I say that I'll stay up until 1, which isn't a big deal because I wasn't exhausted or anything. So a little after 1 I crawl into bed. Not even 10 minutes later, there's a weird sound outside and the dogs keep barking on and off for a few minutes. So I get up and kick the dogs out of my room, then try to go back to sleep. It takes me FOREVER to actually fall asleep, then I end up waking up a few times in the night...I dunno why, but it's annoying anyways.
Then around like 6:30 in the morning, the dogs start scratching on my door because they're hungry, so I get up again and feed them, let them outside, then crawl back into bed. At 7:13 the phone rings, but by the time I get out of bed and see who it is (Uncle Keith) its already gone to the answering machine. So I get back into bed and kinda fall back asleep...he calls back like 10 minutes later. I answer the phone, tell him dads at Sharon's....crawl back into bed. I sleep pretty good until about 9:30, when the phone rings AGAIN...a friendly reminder that they're going to shut off the phone. And by now I'm too annoyed to even try going back to sleep. I swear it's like this every night, and I wake up feeling annoyed and exhausted. Why can't everything just STFU and let me sleep for once?

Am I wired wrong?

Or maybe I'm missing some parts? I guess something is wrong with me. Why can't I do things normal people do? I always fuck things up. And I just can't help it. I'm a mess. I'm so tired. I don't even like to do anything anymore, it all just makes me angry.

SO Angry

Angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry!

Half Blah Birthday

Daphne and Dan are awesome! For my birthday, they came over (and actually got here at midnight, which was pretty cool of them, since they both had to work the next day, I think) and I got some pretty flowers (I'm not sure what kind, but they're pretty!) and a newnewnewnew monitor! I love it. Everything is so clear and everything looks amazing! I love it. <3
And my mom got me this cool watch set thing, it has a bunch of different color straps so you can switch it around and like color coordinate with outfits and everything, it's awesome! :D The only little thing is that it runs slow, but a new battery should fix that problem.

And now, my dad. He did technically pay for my Mary Kay stuff, which is awesome, I'm happy about that. But, he wasn't here for my birthday. He left for Sharon's the day before. All I have to say is, WHAT THE FUCK? I know Sharon is important to him, but how does he think it made me feel that he thinks it's more important to be with her than to at least spend a bit of time with me on my birthday? I was HOME ALONE on my BIRTHDAY. How do you think that made me feel? Maybe I'm being selfish, but spending your birthday alone is honestly one of the shittiest things ever.
I am so happy that Daphne and Dan at least spent the night, even though I only spent about an hour with them before they had to sleep/leave for work. It made me so happy that they at least came to spend some time with me. But spending the rest of the day all alone made me feel so insignificant.

Anyways, work is going pretty good. I still get messed up with a lot of the till stuff, like when to swipe debit cards or circling the crazy stuff at the bottom of the receipt...blah. But I'll get the hang of it eventually. I hope. :)