The Cellar (Dun dun dun...)

The house we're currently living in is really, really tiny, and it's really, really old. It's been fixed up, of course, but whoever did the fixing up really cheaped out on a lot of things, so this house causes us a lot of problems. And as we're just renting, it's not like we're going to throw away more money and fix these things, because honestly, our rent is really high for such a crappy place as it is.
Anyhow, yesterday it was pretty cold out, around -34 C in the morning, and our water pipes froze once again this winter. It has been as cold as -45 C this winter, but we realized the temperature and were smart enough to turn on the water and leave it running before anything bad happened. Well, yesterday we totally forgot. It was probably due to the fact that I woke up with a splitting headache, and spent the majority of yesterday curled up in bed napping, and that once my mom got off work, she herself ended up having a nap too. So around supper, when we're both finally up and moving around a bit, we notice we have no cold water. At all. Not even a drop.
This is normally where Gary (my moms boyfriend) comes in. Normally we've had to pull out the washing machine, go down into the cellar and stick a heater down there for hours before we've got running water again. But, Gary was off working yesterday and was going to be gone overnight, which meant mom and I had to do it ourselves. This means we would have to take the crappy door off, pull out the washer, climb over said washer, pry open a tiny door, climb down, and have someone lift the heater up and over the washer, and down into the cellar (since apparently the cellar is only made for really tall people, it's kinda missing top steps). Then, you need to try to plug the heater into the electrical socket...which is FACING THE WALL?!?! Why? I have no idea, I do not make crappy old houses that make no sense.

So, here is our laundry room. Awesome, isn't it? Please notice the insane amounts of sarcasm dripping off the word awesome, don't step in it, you might slip! Honestly, it is the most annoying laundry room, it doesn't have a proper door of any sort, and its right in the middle of the house so you can always hear it clunking and clanking away no matter which part of the house you're on. Oh, and I forgot to mention, you can only run either the washer or dryer at once, or you'll blow the breaker. You have no idea how long it takes to do laundry after every has returned from a trip.
Anyhow, in this picture, we've already taken off the door and pulled out the washer, which is a beast of a thing I might add. It's one of those smaller ones, why is it so heavy? I could barely move it an inch at a time.

So once we had the washer pulled out, my mom hopped (okay I lie, my mom does not hop. At least not over washers. She kinda, slowly crawled) over the washer and opened up the cellar door and made her way down to the cellar. Which I'm really glad for, knowing my allergies and the dust I saw down there, I would have sneezed myself silly (or stupid, perhaps). We then hoisted the heater over the washer, and down into the cellar. I was actually a bit scared at this point, because the heater is pretty heavy if you have to hold it over your head, and on those pathetic steps, it would have been easy to slip and have it land on top of you. Ouch.

I've come to the conclusion that our cellar is a dust bunny breeding ground. But why did they steal a Bounce sheet?

And then, once we finally have the heater down there, my mom shouts up that the outlet is facing the wall. Whaaaat? Who does that? Does that make any sense? I think it took her longer to plug in the heater than it took us to move the washer, which felt like it took a lot of time.

Eventually we did have our water running again ( around 4am, booyah!), but seeing as we've had to do this I think 4 times already this winter, it's starting to get really frustrating. It wouldn't be so bad if the door to the cellar wasn't in the most horrible spot, or maybe if it had an extra step on the way down or something. But oh well, what can you do with an old house like this. All in all, it was a very interesting adventure, though not one that I'd like to go on again, especially if I'm the one crawling down into the cellar next time.

Cleaning/Organizing: Part II

I'm finally all done! Well, I was hours and hours ago, but I'm just finding time to post about it now before I head to sleep for the night. You can't really tell a huge difference from this picture, but it is more organized than it's ever been! I really am bad for leaving things in random places, but I hope I can keep everything organized from now on. It feels so much better in here, and a lot easier to concentrate on things when everything is in it's own area.
Of course, the majority of the real change is from the closet. It was jam packed full of boxes, mostly random house stuff from when I lived in Grande Prairie, and now it's looking pretty empty...and kinda sad. But on the plus side, a lot less things to move next time I move! Boo-yah!

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Discoveries & Memories

I would be lying if I said right now I wasn't totally pissed off. I love blogger, it's so much easier and faster than many other places I've tried. But when I lose 2 long posts within 24 hours, it does make me a bit angry. You see, I was scrolling down an entry in compose mode, just about to finish it up, and suddenly the page reloads to a picture that I had in the post. Damnit! I quickly press the back button on my browser, hoping that everything will still be there...and no, it's only got the first paragraph. Damnit! I know it's my own fault, I must have clicked it without really noticing or something like that. But still, I'm really pissed off about it. Typing something over again isn't as great as it is the first time, I always leave something out and it just feels...incomplete. Anyhow, onto what I meant to post about!

I mentioned yesterday that I'd found some interesting things while I've been cleaning/organizing my bedroom and tossing out junk that I'll never really use/need. Maybe this is why I have so much stuff in my room, but anything that has even the slightest bit of sentimental value, I just can't bring myself to throw out (Hell, or anything cute, or anything that just might come in handy somewhere down the road). Such as a movie ticket from the first Harry Potter movie (I was SO excited, you have no clue. I still get that way each time I line up to see each of the new movies), a penguin notepad, old school binders...

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Looking Back

No thoughtful post today like I'd intended. I've spent the last 3 hours adding older entries to blogger from my old diary at Diaryland. It is a lot of work, but I'm also not adding every entry either. There are some that aren't really worth the effort, like something with no title, and all the entry says is "Idk anymore." And of course, I've added so many posts today that now I have to do the word verification, and that starts to get hard when you're getting really tired. Things start to look different if you look at them too much.

As for the rest of today, I'm disappointed in myself to be honest. I'd meant to head over to H&R Block and get some papers for income taxes for the last few years I haven't filed. I even put a post-it note on my monitor, a bright pink one! However, I just noticed before I started this post that it fell off my monitor and is lying face down on my desk. Greaaat. I did however find some neat things in my closet, which I'll post about tomorrow when I'm wide awake and my eyelids aren't being dragged down by anvils...

Cleaning/Organizing: Part I

So, today was a short day at work, and since I still had a lot of energy left once work was done I decided to tackle my bedroom. I know I have a lot of stuff, and a lot of things I don't use, or will never use. I just never get around to throwing things out, or taking them to the salvation army and such. Each time I've tidied my room for the last few years, I've made piles of stuff to take to the salvation army...but we never end up going and I forget and the stuff eventually gets added back to my other normal stuff.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! So anyhow, I'm going through boxes, my closet, my old clothes, old books, old everything and getting rid of things. The above picture is from after I started pulling stuff out of my closet...yikes. This really does feel like an impossible task. I find it really hard to throw things away, especially something that might be useful later. I'm not as bad as the people they show on tv, who throw out nothing at all, but I always feel like my room is a big unorganized mess, even after I clean it.

So far, I've got one bag full of garbage, and a bag full of things to take the salvation army, and a lot of things that I'm not really sure if I should toss or not. An old telephone, lots of cords for computers/video games, lots of little things like notepads/notebooks/post-its, and leftover decorations from my sisters bridal shower that never ended up being used. They're just dollar store stuff, but they haven't even been opened. So I'm not sure if I should hold onto them or what. Blah...

Inspired

Lately I don't feel as creative, or inspired as I used to. Maybe it's just the silly winter depression thing bogging me down, but I haven't felt like doing anything, from writing to origami, scrapbooking, web design...it all feels very meh. So lately I've been doing a whole lot of nothing. I've played so much RollerCoaster Tycoon II this last month that it isn't funny. What's worse is that I usually ending up failing the objectives, so I'm not even really winning (can you really win at RollerCoaster Tycoon? Lol.).

 Anyhow, I watched the movie that I got for Christmas, Julie & Julia, and I was oddly inspired by it. It almost made me want to cook or bake, and to be honest, I really can't stand cooking or baking most of the time. But instead of cooking, I decided that I should do something else to help me through this annoying winter depression. I'd start a blog, and write one entry each day for a year. But about what...? Games? Anime? Music? Penguins...?
It took me a while to come up with an idea, but I decided that I'd write a post each day about something that I love, no matter what it is. Tv shows, a favourite movie, a good anime, anything that really makes me happy, laugh, or excited.

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My Favourite Things

"My Favorite Things" is a show tune from the 1959 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical The Sound of Music. I'm sure everyone has at least heard of the musical, if not the song itself. Well, being a bit bored I decided to see if I could make my own version, just adding in my own favourite things. It took a bit of doing, but here it is in all it's glory!


My Version of "My Favourite Things"
Penguins with top hats and ice cream with sprinkles
Wrath of the Lich King and clothes without wrinkles
Asian dramas from MySoju dot com
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cute cuddly puppies and candy cane donuts
Wrapping nice presents and cookies with no nuts
Making up jokes about Dragon Ball Z
These are a few of my favourite things.

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I'm Broke...

This is probably going to be really ranty...and...complainy. All sorts of things I guess, since this last week has been....very eventful.

So, yeah. Altogether, this week was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I was around for everything. Buuut...I'm fucking BROKE. I've spent probably around $800 in the last two weeks. And yes, I'm fucking serious. I think it was even more than $800, but I'm really scared to add it all up. I mean...I really wanted Daphne to enjoy everything, but...there needs to be a goddamned limit. -_-;; Like, eating out for every meal...yeah, that gets a bit fucking expensive. Especially paying for other people...I mean, I'm all for eating out, but I can't really afford it every damned meal. But if everyone else wants to, I feel like an ass for saying no...and I'm not going to starve like an ass, so blah. And...plans getting out of hand. I mean, sure I wanted Daphne to really like things and have a good time...but I'm not a fucking millionaire. I don't even make $600 a month...how am I supposed to afford all of this? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. Seriously.

Anyways...I'm really...stressed...and...maybe a bit depressed, so I'm not gonna babble about this week yet. It's not coming out right, so blah.

Some GG Babbling

...I really want to play WoW now. I'm a bit annoyed that Nate is playing it again. Sometimes it feels like he purposely gets it right after I uninstall it, or can't afford to play it for a while...but I know that isn't really the case. I'm just being silly (as usual, right?). It also didn't help that Eric mentioned his warlock was almost level 70, and that reminded me of my warlock, and I immediately wanted to play. Bah humbug!
I knew I shouldn't have uninstalled it...I mean, I could have played on crappy private servers.... Eck, no thanks. I only like private servers because I can get the gear that isn't so easily attainable in actual WoW, and see if it's really so good (and it usually is...). I also loved trying out new specs on private servers, since I'm always too broke to waste my money like that on actual WoW...

Yep. In other news...Daphne told me last night that Leah stepped out of the wedding...yeah. I'm a bit irked. The wedding is only a month away, and she just realizes NOW that she can't afford things? Daphne said not to be pissed at her, but I can't help but be a bit annoyed. But oh well, thinking about it more isn't going to change anything I guess. I'm just wondering if Daphne will pick someone else to be a bridesmaid, or if we'll just keep it at two now, and have an extra groomsman. But, I really doubt anyone would fit the dress, without some serious altering, and even then I doubt it would look right.

I think that's about all I really have to say...I need to babble here more often, I don't feel so stressed afterwards. GG.

My New Obsession is NOT Twilight

That's what I'd say if it were backwards day...
Yep, so I'm addicted to Twilight. I mean, it's just amazing. I heard about it a little while after it came out, but at the time I didn't hear that much about it and it easily slipped out of my mind. Then I noticed (via Facebook) that one of my cousins is completely in love with it, so I figured I'd read the book, and wow. It's been a long time since any book has actually kept me interested enough to read the whole thing so quickly (Harry Potter series actually...and I finished those not long after each book came out). Anyways, I finished Twilight so fast...and I needed to know what happened next so bad that I read the second book (New Moon) even quicker than the first one...and then the third one (Eclipse). In total, I think it took me maybe 3 days to read through all three, and this includes working, eating, sleeping...etc. Yeah, I'm a fast reader when something actually interests me. And I'm sooo excited for the fourth book to come out, even though I don't think I'll be able to afford it...gah!

"I have the best girl in the world!"

I'm really conflicted. I feel a bit sad, depressed, lonely...I'm too used to talking to Nate everyday. And when he's busy, or isn't home for me to talk to, the day feels horrible and I feel lost and messed up. It makes me second guess things, and I'm always thinking, "Maybe he doesn't really care that much. He's too busy to even talk to me." but I know somedays I'm busy too and don't get to talk to him. I feel like, a lot of my time is spent sitting here waiting for him to get back from work, the store, playing a game...whatever. I just want to say "We should take a break." but then he says something like "I thought about you all night at work." and it makes me feel like an ass and I can't say it. Or his xfire status will say "I have the best girl in the world!" and...I just can't say it.

It's Odd to Say, But...

I really like my job, which is surprising to me actually. Each time I like a job, something happens that makes me start to hate it. Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that I like it. :(
It doesn't even bug me when people walk over my freshly swept/mopped floor. I know it bugs some people, but it's like, you should go into this job expecting that to happen. It's a hotel, you shouldn't expect guests to take off their shoes and tip-toe around your wet floor. That's just stupid.
The only time it bugs me when people mess up my floor, is if it's other people that I'm working with, especially the housekeepers. Sometimes they bring down coffee cups from the rooms, and somehow manage to spill coffee all over in the elevator right after I mop it, and all the way from the elevator to the breakfast room. Why does this bug me? Because it happens at least twice a day, and even the guests don't spill their coffee around like that. Anyways...those coffee cups that the housekeepers are bringing down should have been emptied in the sinks in the room, so it's not like they're full cups of coffee, how do they manage to spill it everywhere?

Photoshop Costs HOW Much??

Okay. Hm.


I was thinking about posting yesterday, but I was too busy doing nothing, so I'll post now (actually, all I accomplished yesterday was downloading yet another program I really don't need, and weeding a part of a flower garden. To me, this qualifies as nothing.)

This weekend was pretty good. Daphne and Dan came out to get some pictures done with their wedding photographer, and they spent the whole weekend here. I feel a bit bad that I didn't hang out with them more, but I've seriously been missing Nate a lot, and the weekend is when he has his days off, so I was torn between him and them. (Also I had insanely bad cramps most of the weekend, and the Midol makes me feel even lazier and not wanting to do anything) Maybe this is bad, I don't know. But Friday night I was really depressed because we've hardly been able to talk, so I really wanted to have more of a chance to talk with him over the weekend.

Anyhow, work was pretty decent this weekend too. I actually managed to get almost 17 hours in, which is really only about 2 hours more than I've been getting the last few weeks, but I don't care, that's basically an extra...$25. It might not seem like much in the long run, but hell, I'm glad with even $5...
And actually, I talked to one of the other girls at work today, which is a huge change for me, seeing as I generally keep to myself and everyone knows this. All the other housekeepers were mad at her, because apparently she was on the schedule for night shift but didn't show up. But, according to her, she didn't even know she was on the schedule for it. Anyhow, the other housekeepers can be rude, even if they don't know the whole story, so they finished their rooms and left, leaving Mandy with a ton of rooms to do still. Now, I don't mind helping with housekeeping if they seriously need it, but I only really like making beds, and Karen knows this. So at lunch, all the other girls were leaving, and Mandy asked me if I was almost done work. I was a bit surprised she was even talking to me, since we'd never talked before, but said yes, I was almost done. She then asked if I could help her with her rooms. I was a bit hesitant, I didn't want to be stuck cleaning some toilet or anything. I asked what she needed done, and Karen who was sitting nearby mentioned that I didn't mind making beds, so Mandy said it would be great if I could help make beds. So I said sure, and was glad that I'd actually get a bit more hours.
So, I finished the rest of my stuff and went to work making more beds (I also helped Sharon make beds in the morning too) for Mandy, while listening to Mythbusters on the tv. To me, this is heaven. But only if I get to make the beds on my own. That way I can take my time and listen to the tv, and time seems to go by faster since I actually have something keeping my mind occupied, instead of thinking to myself all day.
Anyways...Mandy is really actually pretty nice, and I was amazed by how many times she thanked me and praised me on my bedmaking skills (which aren't really that great, but apparently better than hers?). It was really nice to have someone appreciate the work I was doing, and to thank me so much for it. I had always thought Mandy was kind of rude and just...not the type of person I'd see myself talking to, but she wasn't too bad in all honesty.

And, let's see. I downloaded Photoshop...err, I mean. I bought Photoshop completely legally. Yeah right. As if I'm going to pay $1000 for a program, no matter how cool it is. That's beyond retarded. I'm having a blast playing with the brushes though, and layers and overlay. I haven't really done too much more with it, but it is very, very awesome. But I still wouldn't pay $1000 for it. Maybe if I won the lottery, and wanted to buy it just for the sake of spending a shitload of money on something I can get for free...then sure.

Tight Spot

I feel trapped sometimes. Mom somehow has to come up with like $4000 by June 14th or something (for Daphne's dress & some debt), and now that the house isn't going to be sold by then, this puts her in a tight spot. I have $200, which I was HOPING to save for when my bridesmaids dress comes in, and saving the other $60 for any alterations that will have to be done on the said dress. Mom only has $220 to pay for gas, groceries, smokes, and Gary's calling cards for THREE weeks (neither of us get paid for three weeks, due to our stupid boss not paying us every two weeks like a fucking normal boss). I really feel like an ass for not just giving my mom the $200 I have, but at the same time if I give this money to her, that sets me back even more on my saving plans. UGH. WTF WTF WTF. Thinking about money makes me feel so pissed off, I just want to scream.

Sudden Realization

Well, Nate's been looking around for a job, and this morning he had a interview at some place (for security), but since he figured he wouldn't get it, he went and applied at MapleLeaf...and actually got hired there instead. I'm really happy and proud of him, even though he didn't sound enthusiastic about it at all. The way I see it is, with both of us working, there's a better chance of getting to see each other soon. <3
However, I just realized a few minutes ago, that he works on all the days that I have off...and he works night shift, whereas I work a normal day shift. So, getting to actually talk to him is going to be even more difficult. I guess it will be fine though, I know I'll miss him a lot, since I'm so used to talking to him so much everyday, but I'm just glad that he's got a job now.

Not Cool

Hm. Well, I'm kinda frustrated. I got paid, and was like "Woo! Now I have money to get a haircut, and buy a new brush, and a new shirt for work..." you know, a bunch of little things that I need to do for myself, and with some money left over to get mom something for Mother's Day. Then dad mentions that the phone is going to get cut off...and the satellite and internet probably too...so of course, I feel bad and give him almost all the money from my paycheque. Was this the best idea? I don't know. I feel bad that my dad is probably going into debt, and I'm not really doing much to help. But I shouldn't worry about this so much, even if I was working full time, what I would be able to give him to help out still wouldn't be very much.

Anyways, I guess that's why I'm frustrated. Also, that I don't really get to use the money I'm getting paid, at all. And this was stuff that I've been needing for a long time, but put it off when I get paid because other things are more important (except the N64 and WCIII, but at that time dad owed me a bit of money, which would have covered the stuff I needed..) BLAH. Now I feel like crying before work. NOT COOL.

Work is going okay I guess. I need to keep reminding myself before I go in that everything will be fine and as long as I try my best that's all that matters. So basically, trying to be positive about it. I know today I really need to think like that, since it's Saturday and things are going to get pretty busy and overwhelming for me.

Anyways, this is my strange rant thing I guess.

My Home

Today mom and dad decided to sell the house for a lot cheaper than they'd originally had it listed as. It's really depressing to think that we don't have a home to go back to anymore. It makes me so sad to think about it, and I really can't explain it. I feel really sad, and grumpy. I don't want to feel this way on my birthday.

I always just figured that mom and dad would always be there together in that house, no matter what. If I get married and have kids, we won't be going there for holidays, we won't be able to go back to a familiar place from our past, where we spent most of our lives. And I miss Amigo, I really wish we could have kept him, and I'm so angry that dad wouldn't. What an ass. He can put up with Sharon's dog, and their stupid cats..but not OUR dog? What an ass. skjhdkssgggg

Happy Birthday to me.

I'm 21!

Yay! I'm officially 21 now! /cheer

To be honest, it isn't really that exciting. However, last night I did get some nice flowers...

...and a WoW time card! Yay! Dan and Daphne also took out me and mom for my birthday supper, which was really awesome of them. So I had a pretty good evening. :D Thanks guys!

Late Resolutions

Normally I make a few resolutions for myself, but they're usually the same sorts of things over and over again, and I don't really end up sticking to them or following through with them over the course of the year.
I've been noticing my faults more and more lately, and I've been letting a lot of things hold me back in life. I can't keep living like this anymore, so I've decided that I need to change, and I'm going to do it now. Admittedly, one of the main reasons that I finally decided that I need to change, is my boyfriend Nate. I don't want my problems to get in the way of our relationship anymore.

My Resolutions:
[01] To get & hold a steady job & give my mom $300 each month.
[02] To save up & see Nate this summer.
[03] To be more open around people I'll be working with and make friends with them.
[04] To go to work every day even if I'm sick, and to work hard.
[05] To talk to Nate on the phone more.
[06] I won't let the little things bother me.

I think I'll have more to add to this later, I've been giving it thought all day, but I don't think it's complete yet.

Depressed Ranting

I'm really upset right now. Not only is my computer about to crash, but I can't even back up any of my files. I can't burn a disc, I can't upload any pictures anywhere for safekeeping...NOTHING. Not to mention that explorer.exe keeps messing up and I can't get it running again (which means I have to restart constantly). So I'm going to lose all the pictures I have of Nate, I'm going to lose all the recordings of him playing his guitar, which I love so much. I'm going to lose all my music, movies and pictures, which I have a lot of and a lot of them are REALLY important to me (old family pictures, pictures of Amigo, an old video of Jonathon, etc). I'm just so angry. And to make things seem even worse, I feel sick, and pathetic. I can't get a job, and when I do get a job I'm so stupid that I can't even keep it. FUCK. I just want to cry and quit sometimes.
Mom and Gary were thinking of kicking me out last month because I wasn't working very often...then I get FIRED because I'm so pathetic. I couldn't even do the easiest job ever, that's how lame I am. I feel sick and depressed constantly lately, but I don't have any money for any pills (whether it's for my sinuses or anti-depressants), and I know mom & Gary don't have a lot of money right now either, and I don't want to bum off of them anymore. I haven't given them any money for like two months, and Gary probably thinks I'm some lazy, incompetent ass and wants to kick me out. I don't have any fucking friends..I couldn't even do some stupid test to get back into school so I could get a better job someday. I can't even remember how to multiply, that's like grade 5/6 shit and I can't even do it after trying for weeks before that stupid test.
I'm never going to get to meet Nate, and if I ever did I'd probably mess things up because I'm too fucking stupid. He's going to realize how ugly and stupid I am, and he'll never want to have anything to do with me. He probably already feels like I'm avoiding him, because we don't talk very much, and I always end up going to lay down..I guess I am avoiding him sometimes, and I'm an ass for doing that. And I always feel like an ass when I think that I want to break up with him, because it just seems like it's going to stay this way forever, and I want more, even though I'm scared of more. All I want to do lately is sleep, I don't even like talking to anyone anymore, I'm the most pathetic person I know.