Depressed Ranting

I'm really upset right now. Not only is my computer about to crash, but I can't even back up any of my files. I can't burn a disc, I can't upload any pictures anywhere for safekeeping...NOTHING. Not to mention that explorer.exe keeps messing up and I can't get it running again (which means I have to restart constantly). So I'm going to lose all the pictures I have of Nate, I'm going to lose all the recordings of him playing his guitar, which I love so much. I'm going to lose all my music, movies and pictures, which I have a lot of and a lot of them are REALLY important to me (old family pictures, pictures of Amigo, an old video of Jonathon, etc). I'm just so angry. And to make things seem even worse, I feel sick, and pathetic. I can't get a job, and when I do get a job I'm so stupid that I can't even keep it. FUCK. I just want to cry and quit sometimes.
Mom and Gary were thinking of kicking me out last month because I wasn't working very often...then I get FIRED because I'm so pathetic. I couldn't even do the easiest job ever, that's how lame I am. I feel sick and depressed constantly lately, but I don't have any money for any pills (whether it's for my sinuses or anti-depressants), and I know mom & Gary don't have a lot of money right now either, and I don't want to bum off of them anymore. I haven't given them any money for like two months, and Gary probably thinks I'm some lazy, incompetent ass and wants to kick me out. I don't have any fucking friends..I couldn't even do some stupid test to get back into school so I could get a better job someday. I can't even remember how to multiply, that's like grade 5/6 shit and I can't even do it after trying for weeks before that stupid test.
I'm never going to get to meet Nate, and if I ever did I'd probably mess things up because I'm too fucking stupid. He's going to realize how ugly and stupid I am, and he'll never want to have anything to do with me. He probably already feels like I'm avoiding him, because we don't talk very much, and I always end up going to lay down..I guess I am avoiding him sometimes, and I'm an ass for doing that. And I always feel like an ass when I think that I want to break up with him, because it just seems like it's going to stay this way forever, and I want more, even though I'm scared of more. All I want to do lately is sleep, I don't even like talking to anyone anymore, I'm the most pathetic person I know.