Christmas Excitement

I'm really, really excited about today (and tomorrow!). I think this is the first year that I've genuinely felt excited about Christmas, and spending time with my family. For a long time I was just excited about what new presents I'd be getting, or getting time off from school...but this year I'm just excited to spend time with everyone. When I think of Christmas, I keep thinking of everyone sitting around in Daphne's apartment and watching a movie and laughing, or some of us playing a board game...I don't know, I just feel really happy that we're not having a bunch of seperate Christmas' or something.
I really hope we end up watching a movie, or playing board games or something...I really want this Christmas to be fun and memorable for some reason.

Depressed Ranting

I'm really upset right now. Not only is my computer about to crash, but I can't even back up any of my files. I can't burn a disc, I can't upload any pictures anywhere for safekeeping...NOTHING. Not to mention that explorer.exe keeps messing up and I can't get it running again (which means I have to restart constantly). So I'm going to lose all the pictures I have of Nate, I'm going to lose all the recordings of him playing his guitar, which I love so much. I'm going to lose all my music, movies and pictures, which I have a lot of and a lot of them are REALLY important to me (old family pictures, pictures of Amigo, an old video of Jonathon, etc). I'm just so angry. And to make things seem even worse, I feel sick, and pathetic. I can't get a job, and when I do get a job I'm so stupid that I can't even keep it. FUCK. I just want to cry and quit sometimes.
Mom and Gary were thinking of kicking me out last month because I wasn't working very often...then I get FIRED because I'm so pathetic. I couldn't even do the easiest job ever, that's how lame I am. I feel sick and depressed constantly lately, but I don't have any money for any pills (whether it's for my sinuses or anti-depressants), and I know mom & Gary don't have a lot of money right now either, and I don't want to bum off of them anymore. I haven't given them any money for like two months, and Gary probably thinks I'm some lazy, incompetent ass and wants to kick me out. I don't have any fucking friends..I couldn't even do some stupid test to get back into school so I could get a better job someday. I can't even remember how to multiply, that's like grade 5/6 shit and I can't even do it after trying for weeks before that stupid test.
I'm never going to get to meet Nate, and if I ever did I'd probably mess things up because I'm too fucking stupid. He's going to realize how ugly and stupid I am, and he'll never want to have anything to do with me. He probably already feels like I'm avoiding him, because we don't talk very much, and I always end up going to lay down..I guess I am avoiding him sometimes, and I'm an ass for doing that. And I always feel like an ass when I think that I want to break up with him, because it just seems like it's going to stay this way forever, and I want more, even though I'm scared of more. All I want to do lately is sleep, I don't even like talking to anyone anymore, I'm the most pathetic person I know.

Christmas Adoptables

Bwahahaha, so I just found some christmas adoptables, so I'm going to stick them all here!

December 23, 2007

Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at PokePlushies!

Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at PokePlushies!

Continue Reading?

Anchorman Chat Log

We watched Anchorman, which was actually a lot better than I thought it would be. I forgot how funny Will Ferrel can be sometimes. And, it has Jack Black in it! I wish he'd had more lines though, he's such a great actor. QQ

[12:54] Dramatic Polar Bear: I just remember Steve Carrell with sideburns.
[12:54] Cookies Plz: "Only the names, locations and events have been changed." thats like, the whole thing. rofl
[12:54] Dramatic Polar Bear: ROFL, yeah.
[12:55] Dramatic Polar Bear: do u think hes sexy??
[12:55] Cookies Plz: no lol
[12:55] Cookies Plz: My sister hates Will Ferrel.
[12:55] Dramatic Polar Bear: Why?
[12:55] Dramatic Polar Bear: Rofl
[12:56] Cookies Plz: I don't know.
[12:56] Dramatic Polar Bear: I love his voice.
[12:56] Dramatic Polar Bear: Especially when he yells.
[12:56] Dramatic Polar Bear: Reminds me of when I used to watch Oblongs.
[12:56] Cookies Plz: What's this rated? rofl
[12:56] Dramatic Polar Bear: He was the voice of the dad.
[12:56] Dramatic Polar Bear: I think R
[12:56] Dramatic Polar Bear: They cuss a couple times.
[12:56] Cookies Plz: "The arsenist has oddly shaped feet." ??

Continue Reading?

Alberta Rules, Grande Prairie Rules

Dan's brother, Darryl put this on my FunWall at Facebook, and it's so true and hilarious. I just love it!

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA:

1. Bring your own house.
2. If you are going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school, and hospital.
3. If you are going to Edmonton, wear your flak jacket. This is the murder capital of Canada.
4. If you are driving to Edmonton, note that it is also the auto theft center of Canada.
5. If you are bringing drugs, head straight to Fort McMurray, the drug capital of Canada.
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is $5.60 per hour.
7. If you work downtown, note that parking costs $5.00 per hour or more.
8. If you are able to buy a house in Edmonton, or Calgary, why not spend the money on a 15 year holiday.
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. Alberta has the highest gas prices in Canada [The Alberta Advantage].
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come here sick.
11. In Calgary the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 years ago. Calgary is a no parking zone.
12. Remember when Roy Rogers etc. were beating the Indians? Well it's payback time. They own all the Casinos here.

Continue Reading?

Superbad Chat Log

Me and Nate watched Superbad...it's a awesome movie, by the way. Anyways, here's the chat log from it. Nate = Dramatic Polar Bear, Me = Cookies Plz

Continue Reading?

Pretty Heart

I just love this heart, it looks so pretty! I found this while looking for neat little designs that might look good on a wedding invitation. I had to edit it a bit, but it looks so pretty now.

Isn't it just perfect? The feathery effect thing looks so awesome!

On another note, I'm still trying to fix my computer. There's one annoying .exe file that I can't get rid of (along with a few others, that aren't quite as annoying), and Windows Defender & SpyBot keep telling me it's there but I can't do anything about it. At least, I don't think I can. There's no way to delete it that I know of, and I'm very hesitant to even think about taking my PC somewhere to see if someone else can fix it. I'd rather just save everything that's important, and reformat. Except this means I'm going to lose all my movies and anime, gah! Quick, someone buy me a DVD burner!
Oh no! All my ROMs are going to be toast too! Unless, I find somewhere to upload them all to. Hmm. I don't know. I know I have some already saved to discs, but I've gotten a lot since then. Ho hum.

To write, or not to write..

I've been thinking about writing quite a bit lately, and I think I should try to do it more seriously. I always get a lot of ideas, and I'm sure I could make something good come out of some of them if I just tried hard enough. I did write a few things a few months ago, and I was going to just delete them, but I do kinda like where they were headed so I decided to keep them. And I figure, why not? I've always liked writing, and always wanted to do it seriously (or at least, try to) so I may as well.

New Layout & Christmas Excitement

Quick Note: This is from my old diary which was hosted on Diaryland. I went back and took a screenshot, since I'm still proud of how I got that layout to look. lol

Oh joy! New layout! It actually took me hours to make this. Well, sort of. I made like 4 different versions, and ended up liking this one best. The bunny is so cute! His ears are a bit messed up, since I'm obviously not good at editing pictures, but I tried! I also cut off part of his one ear because it looks so bad and I couldn't make it look normal. So, that's why his whole ear isn't in the layout. xD
And I had a lot of fun picking out a font for this...I had about 4 different ones in mind, but this is one of my new fonts, so I really wanted to use it for something. I dunno if it matches or anything (like a bunny with an eye patch matches with a pink scheme) but whatever! I like it. I think it's called Floydian, and if you noticed, it looks like the Pink Floyd font!


I'm so happy that I went Christmas shopping! I felt really bummed out about Christmas, and was very "Bah humbug!"-ish about it, but since I went Christmas shopping on Monday I feel all excited about it! I didn't really have enough money to get anyone anything really good, or what they really wanted, but it's the best I can do. I wanted to get Daphne and Dan something really cool, but had to change my mind, because then I'd have to get everyone else even crappier stuff. Blah, not cool. And I still have to get something for mom and Gary as it is, and I have absolutely no idea. Mom did point out this little water fountain thing at Canadian Tire that's $14, and I could have gotten them something else cheap to go along with it, but mom has the last of my $$ on her debit card and I always mess up her numbers...so I'll just have to ask her to take that money out of her account so I can get their present!
I can't get anything for Nate..but he said a million times that he doesn't want anything, and won't give me ideas...so I guess I won't. I really want to get him something, I feel really bad. But, knowing him, he'd send back anything I get him. Or sell it and send back the money without telling me or something. -_-;;

Jealousy strikes yet again...

So, I'm jealous of some woman I don't even know. -_-;; I know I don't have a reason to be, but I am!

Nate went out for coffee (or whatever..) with his mom, and when he comes back he says he loves his moms friend. As soon as he said I was just like :( even though I know he doesn't really mean it in that way. But still. Would he love me more if I was smarter? I don't know why, but I feel like crying. (His username is Dramatic Polar Bear, I'm Cookies Plz)


[15:51] Dramatic Polar Bear: Back.
[15:51] Cookies Plz: brb.
[15:51] Dramatic Polar Bear: -Licks-
[15:51] Cookies Plz: I just noticed, there's mail stuck outside. rofl
[15:52] Dramatic Polar Bear: I love my mom's friend.
[15:52] Dramatic Polar Bear: She's so smart.
[15:52] Dramatic Polar Bear: She's going for her masters.
[15:52] Dramatic Polar Bear: She knows alot about our culture.
[15:52] Dramatic Polar Bear: And iunno, she's just smart.
[15:55] Dramatic Polar Bear: The people here seem very oppressed.
[15:57] Cookies Plz: You love your moms friend? QQ
[15:57] Cookies Plz: Going to make popcorn.
[15:58] Dramatic Polar Bear: Movie's done??
[15:58] Cookies Plz: Ya.
[15:58] Cookies Plz: brb tho
[15:58] Dramatic Polar Bear: I admire her.

Pokeballs, woo!

Some pokemon stuff, cause it's kinda cool to see what they end up being, even though I don't know about any of the new pokemon stuff. Rofl.

Just some thinking.

Two entries in such a short period of time! Is the world coming to an end?!
I was actually just looking back at the last few entries, and they made me kind of sad. It made me realize, I've had less ups than downs in the past year and a half (or maybe it just seems that way since I focus on the negative things more than I do on the positive ones). The most positive thing in my life during this time, has been my relationship with Nate. There is no doubt about this at all. Even before we started dating, he didn't mind listening to me babble about all my problems when I didn't feel like I had anyone else who would listen. He has almost always been there for me, even though times haven't been the greatest to him either. He has always been so amazingly supportive of me, and completely understanding, even during rough times. I can honestly say, I don't know what I would have done without his support.
So, the last year and a half = not so good. And some of it, was from my own stupid mistakes, I admit it. I never should have stayed with Andrea, especially when I had bad feelings about it to begin with. I should have made myself go to work more often, even if I felt scared sometimes. I should have spoke my mind more often to dad after mom left.
There are a lot of things, I could have done differently. And a lot of things other people could have done differently. If I could, I would like to change a lot of things about the last year and a half.
I would have stood up to dad more often, and told him "NO! I don't want to spend another lonely weekend by myself while everyone else is out doing their own stuff." I should have just told him that I hated it when he would drink, and that it really bugged me, especially after the stuff that happened in the summer. Maybe I should have initially moved in with mom when she asked. I should have MADE dad take me to the doctor when I was sick and could hardly move from my bed for days. I should have told him that I hate Sharon, and that I hated how he spent every free moment of his time talking with her/being with her. I should have told him that I hated how he spent his money, and my money going to see Sharon, instead of paying for house bills. I should have told him how depressed I felt being stuck by myself all the time, and that I hated how everyone was taking advantage of how nice I am.

I guess, this is mostly a rant, that leads to how much I still hate dad. I don't even feel bad to say it. I hate my dad. I really tried not to, I felt bad about it to begin with, but I don't anymore. I have NO respect for him whatsoever. I dread talking to him, because it feels like nothing good can come from it.
Maybe I'm being selfish, and was being selfish then too, I don't know. Is it so wrong for me to have wanted someone to talk to me, other than to tell me to clean, or to ask for money to pay for bills (which didn't get paid even when I gave him money for them)...I just, hate him.

Ghostbusters Chat Log

And now, just because I find it cute, here is a conversation Nate and I had while watching Ghostbusters...Enjoi pls.

Continue Reading?

Class Evaluations (Lol!)

I honestly can't stop laughing each time I see this. It's so great. :)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

So..Tired..

Ugh. I'm so annoyed this morning. I got tired around midnight, and was going to go to bed, but everyone goes "No, you should stay up and talk to me!", or "Aw but I'll be bored playing WoW without someone to talk to!" blah, blah. So I say that I'll stay up until 1, which isn't a big deal because I wasn't exhausted or anything. So a little after 1 I crawl into bed. Not even 10 minutes later, there's a weird sound outside and the dogs keep barking on and off for a few minutes. So I get up and kick the dogs out of my room, then try to go back to sleep. It takes me FOREVER to actually fall asleep, then I end up waking up a few times in the night...I dunno why, but it's annoying anyways.
Then around like 6:30 in the morning, the dogs start scratching on my door because they're hungry, so I get up again and feed them, let them outside, then crawl back into bed. At 7:13 the phone rings, but by the time I get out of bed and see who it is (Uncle Keith) its already gone to the answering machine. So I get back into bed and kinda fall back asleep...he calls back like 10 minutes later. I answer the phone, tell him dads at Sharon's....crawl back into bed. I sleep pretty good until about 9:30, when the phone rings AGAIN...a friendly reminder that they're going to shut off the phone. And by now I'm too annoyed to even try going back to sleep. I swear it's like this every night, and I wake up feeling annoyed and exhausted. Why can't everything just STFU and let me sleep for once?

Am I wired wrong?

Or maybe I'm missing some parts? I guess something is wrong with me. Why can't I do things normal people do? I always fuck things up. And I just can't help it. I'm a mess. I'm so tired. I don't even like to do anything anymore, it all just makes me angry.

SO Angry

Angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry!

Half Blah Birthday

Daphne and Dan are awesome! For my birthday, they came over (and actually got here at midnight, which was pretty cool of them, since they both had to work the next day, I think) and I got some pretty flowers (I'm not sure what kind, but they're pretty!) and a newnewnewnew monitor! I love it. Everything is so clear and everything looks amazing! I love it. <3
And my mom got me this cool watch set thing, it has a bunch of different color straps so you can switch it around and like color coordinate with outfits and everything, it's awesome! :D The only little thing is that it runs slow, but a new battery should fix that problem.

And now, my dad. He did technically pay for my Mary Kay stuff, which is awesome, I'm happy about that. But, he wasn't here for my birthday. He left for Sharon's the day before. All I have to say is, WHAT THE FUCK? I know Sharon is important to him, but how does he think it made me feel that he thinks it's more important to be with her than to at least spend a bit of time with me on my birthday? I was HOME ALONE on my BIRTHDAY. How do you think that made me feel? Maybe I'm being selfish, but spending your birthday alone is honestly one of the shittiest things ever.
I am so happy that Daphne and Dan at least spent the night, even though I only spent about an hour with them before they had to sleep/leave for work. It made me so happy that they at least came to spend some time with me. But spending the rest of the day all alone made me feel so insignificant.

Anyways, work is going pretty good. I still get messed up with a lot of the till stuff, like when to swipe debit cards or circling the crazy stuff at the bottom of the receipt...blah. But I'll get the hang of it eventually. I hope. :)

Why work for a living?

I feel really upset and pissed off. But at the same time I'm a bit happy.

I got a birthday card from Grandma today, which was cool, I'll have to remember to call her or even write her a letter. :D Also, my new debit card came in the mail and I've got that all set up, which is also GOOD. And the cellphones dad ordered came in today, and I've claimed one as my own. :D

But then there's work. I really, really want to do good at work, but I feel like I'm already fucking it up too much. I feel completely lost all the time, and I keep messing up simple things like a normal transaction with a edge card, or gift card. I don't really feel very comfortable there either, nobody besides Jason has actually talked to me, even when I try to start up a conversation (unless I mess something up), and I can't even remember the prices of things or to check the wall behind the counter for the new games when someone brings one up to the counter. I always forget to circle the bottom of the receipt and I feel like I'm always doing things wrong and that nobody wants me to be there.
I'm hardly going to get paid anything at all, and people already want the money. I won't be able to get my ID back or pay back Daphne for WoW and Burning Crusade, and work clothes she bought me, since dad is apparently expecting money when I get paid.

Little brothers are secretly devils in disguise

So I started work at EB Games on Monday. It was pretty good, a bit confusing, but still good. There was lots of random little things to remember, so it was overwhelming, but I started getting used to some of it pretty fast. I worked Tuesday too and it was pretty much the same. Yesterday was a bit different though. I met Justin and Jason, and the whole night I felt really out of place. I guess it was because I don't really know them, and they just talked to each other the whole time, so yeah. Jason seems really good though, he was doing everything like he's been working there ages. It was neat.

In other news, I'm really pissed off. I came home last night since I don't work until Sunday, and everything in my room is messed up. As soon as I walked in, I knew Jonathon had messed up everything. Both my blankets were gone, and my jackets were on my bed. The blind in my room is gone, and now there's a sheet hanging over the window. My xbox was sitting on the vent, the cords are all over the bloody place, and my controller is gone. The ring tone on the phone was changed to some annoying siren sounding thing, the speakers weren't plugged in right and mess up every time I try to listen to something. My PC was moved way over, all my bank papers that I had neatly organized are all over the place...WHY THE HELL CAN'T HE JUST LEAVE MY SHIT ALONE?! I don't go in his room and move everything around and mess up things, do I? No. But I'm really tempted to right now. Everytime I'm gone, even for the day, I come back and everything is in a complete mess. It really makes me angry, seeing as I told him NOT to touch my computer or mess with anything in my room, but he did anyways.

Nate's Girlfriend

I'm in a really good mood. :D Today on WoW, Drew introduced me to a friend that he got playing WoW. And when he introduced us, he said, "This is Allie, Nate's girlfriend." and I honestly couldn't stop smiling. I've never been introduced as something like that before, and it made me so happy.

Job Interview

Well, I have a job interview today, for EB Games! Crazy, huh? I'm not sure if I'll get it, because I do have a habit of not really showing up all the time. But, I really think this will be pretty cool if I do get it. I'll have to stay with Daphne and Dan, and I'll have to get new clothes, because I don't really have any nice clothes. Except maybe 2 pairs of pants, and no shirts I don't think. I don't have nice shoes either. Boo blah.

Flawless Diamond Solitaire

I was mentioning to Nate how I don't always like it when I hear about people I know getting engaged or married, or having kids because it makes me want to do that too (like ASAP, instead of my normal thinking of, 'it will happen when it happens'. I also think I freaked him out by talking about this). Anyways, a few hours later on WoW, this is what happened! I know he was just being silly and cheering me up, but it was cute. I had to take a screenshot of it. Weee. Here it is! <3 Click to see the full size image. The words...that's the only part that matters. :)

Engagement

Daphne and Dan got engaged last night! Weee! And guess who is a maid of honor? That's right, me! Yay! <3

Two legs and a heart beat

You know, I really don't mind cleaning somedays. And that's how I felt today, until I was grabbing some laundry from the washing machine to put in the dryer. Jonathon walks by and opens the bathroom door, turning on the lights and fan, and goes, "Clean that up." and of course, somehow a dog got in there and now there's dog shit on the floor.

First off, what the hell is he so busy with that he can't clean it up? And if he already noticed it why didn't he already clean it instead of leaving it there until he could tell ME to do it? And secondly, WHAT THE FUCK?! Did you just TELL ME to clean that up? What happened to, "I'm tired from shovelling the driveway, can you please clean that up?" and it's not like I would have said no today, because I was in a good mood. But you don't just walk around TELLING me what to do, especially when you aren't doing shit yourself. FUCKFUCKFUCK.

I'm tired. They can clean that shit on their own, I don't care. Do their own fucking laundry, and clean the kitchen after they make fucking messes.

Murrr!

I love my Natey. <3 <3

I've been feeling pretty sick lately, and almost every day I have to have a nap it seems like. I think it was on Thursday and Friday, I honestly slept almost all day and all night, and napped off and on the entire next day. I know it's not because I'm doing too much, because I really don't. I do the kitchen and tidy up here and there and do laundry, and my own little stuff, but that's not even enough to make me feel tired. Normally. But lately I just feel so...energy-less.

Been spending a bit more time on WoW the past few days too, the people in the SR chat are starting to drive me a bit insane with their crazy quirks. And of course, there's always something weird going on in WoW. I signed a guild charter with my rogue, and I said I'd stay in the guild until they got more people. So, that's all good, I'm nice like that and the people in the guild so far seem really cool. But then, this one girl starts flirting with me? So I said, "You DO know I'm a girl, right?" and said goes, "Of course, and you know I'm a girl too right, right? ^_^" and then she kept doing that weird flirty thing. -_-;;; It's kinda funny, but kinda strange at the same time. I asked her to stop, and she mostly quit, but every now and then she'll send me a whisper with some random flirty thing in it. Doh. I don't get people.
And of course, when I told Nate about this, he goes, "Lesbian?" Haha. -_-; At least he didn't say, "Threesome plz?!"


I'm cheery. Nate said "I love you" first, which is kinda rare sometimes. Murr, it just makes me so happy. I have to remember this.

Natesy: I love you.
Allie F: I love you too. -nuzzles-
Natesy: I think I fixed it.
Allie F: That's good..I wouldn't have known what else to say..
Natesy: Just speak from your mind.
Natesy: You're smart.
Natesy: Smarter then you try to downplay.
Natesy: But you're just humble about it.
Allie F: -hugs close-

Murr. <3<3

Do not want!

I'm kinda annoyed...Sharon gave dad the email address of the guy that rents a room in her house (or something like that), and dad gave me the email address. And I already told dad I wasn't interested...alsjlkj. So, I just sent a lame email to him, saying that I'm not really interested because I already like someone...so blah. I feel kinda like an ass though, so I hope he wasn't excited about it or anything (which I doubt, but you never know I guess). And of course, the address is kinda unbelievable too, something like toogood4u or something like that. Blah blah blah. I'm going to kick dad.

'So, I like Nate..'

So, I just told Jenny that I like Nate. She seemed a bit surprised, but I'm glad I told her. I consider Jenny to be a good friend, and its nice for someone (in our little circle of friends) to know how much I really do care about him. Plus I trust her not to go tell everyone, because I know that would be awkward for both me and Nate...

But yeah, I'm a little bit drunk. Sorry for spelling mistakes.
Edit: Fixed most mistakes..I think

Friendly Stoners

So, Nate and Jenny got me talking to some pretty awesome people. I think all of them are stoners, but they're awesome people. Always so nice, and funny, all the time. And they're so easy to get along with it's just great! I have so much fun just babbling about the random stuff, good stuff!

My Natey <3

I've decided that I don't give a shit about what other people say. Nate cares about me, even if he's not always good at showing it. I just know he does, and anyone who thinks otherwise...well, I'm just ignoring them. I love my Natey. <3

I love the middle one, it's so cheesy but it's almost like I could reach out and grab his hand. I love him so much.

Home Base

Someone (edit: it was Nate's best friend, Greg...ass!) said that I was a 'home base' for Nate. And when I asked what they meant, they said something like, "As in, someone they're safe and comfortable with until someone better comes along".
I don't know what 'safe' is supposed to mean there, but....great.

Visiting & Mrs Johnstone

I spent the last two days at moms place. It was nice, and sorta refreshing. And I didn't really mind Gary that much either, though I have the feeling he was being a bit on the quiet side around me on purpose. But hey, it was nice. We didn't do anything too special, and mom and I kinda shopped around a bit today, then lounged around watching tv...very nice and...relaxing.

But, when dad came to pick me up (and drop Jonathon and Justin off at my moms place) he wasn't feeling good at all. I could tell as soon as I saw him that he was either grumpy or not feeling good. He said he was feeling really woozy (is that how you spell it?) and light-headed, which isn't good when you're driving. So I offered to drive, and he said that if he felt he was getting worse then he'd let me drive. Well, I was really worried. It looked like he was having a hard time concentrating on just driving, so I offered a few times to drive, saying that I would rather me drive and be nervous (it was a bit icy in spots and getting dark...scary!) than have him feeling pretty sick driving. So he pulled over before we reached the border and let me drive. The plan was originally to go home, and dad would crash in bed. But when we got closer to home he was feeling even worse, so we decided it would be best for him to go see the doctor at the hospital. So, I drove straight to Beaverlodge and it was only about 7:20pm, so we had to wait for about an hour before the doctor even got there.
Dad kinda just slumped down in the chair and dozed off. We were only there for about 10 minutes, and Mrs. Johnstone (teacher at the HRJHS) walked by (leaving from visiting someone) and she looked pretty worried when she saw that dad was feeling so sick. So she sat down and talked to him a bit, then asked if she could say a prayer for him, and he said yes. At first I though, she meant, say a prayer when she got home or something, but no. She actually prayed out loud for him, right there. At first I though, this is embarassing, but it wasn't really. It was touching and kind. I've never seen someone just...pray...like that. It's hard to explain. Anyways, dad kept dozing off until around 8:30, and he seemed to feel a lot better than before, but went in to see the doctor anyways, which is good.
The doctor said something about an inner ear infection, and dad has to go back tomorrow morning to see the doctor again. And he gave dad some pills to keep him from being so dizzy.

But yeah. lkjsldk I'm pretty tired.

WoW Talk

So, my rogue is level 37 (finally, I didn't realize I'd been level 36 for 9 hours! But then again, I did a lot of mining, and me Nate and I ran through DM a few times just to see if we could pull it off alright), and I have 86g. I'm very impressed with myself, I earned over 40g in less than half a level. Hardcore. But, it's only because I took up mining and started selling Copper and Bronze Bars on the AH. I can get around 2-4g for each stack (depending on what kind it is) on Scarlet Crusade. Not too shabby if I do say so myself, especially since it's easy to get copper and to make bronze, people are just lazy to do it themselves.

I also made a Blood Elf paladin on Baelgun. She's level 14 right now. I made a guild on it too, called "We Have Cookies". We already have 29 members and the guild is 2 days old. /cheer

I can't really hate you

I really feel like shit. Mom thinks that I hate her. Which, yes...I understand how she came to that conclusion. But I talked to her tonight and told her that I never hated her at all, it's just taking me time to adjust to things. I feel so bad.

Just Venting

I'm so pissed off. I'm really just tired, and I should have been in bed hours ago, and I haven't been sleeping good...but I'm really pissed off.

Dad isn't home tonight. He said he was just going to be gone for the day, but I guess by day he meant 24 hours or something. I don't know. That makes me angry, because he didn't even say he was going to be gone overnight, which I think he really should. I could have just called and said, "Well, thanks for letting us know you weren't coming home." but...I'm done caring for the time being. I'm just so angry, and he can go and try to forget about mom by pretending he's happy seeing all these random women. Don't care.

Blah, blah. Then, I keep getting frustrated/upset at Nate. Sometimes he'll do/say something and it makes me really angry, then I'm suddenly sad about it. I guess I feel sad because I don't want to be upset at him. And we're slowly growing farther apart. Maybe that's what's upsetting me too.
I don't know. I hope this doesn't make sense, and is full of silly spelling mistakes.

So Disgusting

I'm so angry. So I wake up at around 8:15 this morning because the dogs are barking at something. Not unusualy, but very annoying seeing as I only managed to fall asleep around 3am. So I get up and go to feed the dogs and notice some weird stuff all over the rug by the couch. It really looked like one of the dogs pooped all over...like it got all squished in the rug or something (gross though, I know. Sorry.). So, that really pisses me off, because when I look closer it looks someone picked up some of it but left the rest. Okay, WTF. I don't care what it is, you don't just clean up half and leave the rest. Especially if its in the rug, I mean ajkhdkjhk!!!!! It makes me really upset because you can tell it's been there a while, and dad and Jonathon could have at least tried to clean it up better. But no....they were just going to leave it so it dried in the rug. Ew. :
Anyways, so I got out the rug cleaner stuff and put that on and when I just tried to clean it after letting it soak a bit..well. It's still pretty much stuck in the rug and it looks gross. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only one spot, but it's like 4 or 5 spots on the rug, not small ones either. Gross, gross, gross. And why is there a towel in the garbage in the bathroom?! aksjklj Seriously. Not what I wanted to wake up to. And now I can't get back to sleep.

You don't know if you believe in God?

Ergblah. I feel so sick. My stomach hurts and I feel like I should get sick any minute, but I don't. Which is annoying in itself. My head hurts, probably a headache from not drinking enough today..or yesterday I guess. And I can't sleep anymore. Damnit, damnit, damnit. And everyone is having fun on Burning Crusade and I want to put in a movie so I can hopefully fall asleep but the dvd player isn't really working right so I can't. And my body feels achy and my mouth is dry but I'm not even going to try to drink anything. We have no pepto bismol stuff....my room is too bloody hot even with the window open...

Other than that, I think I'm doing good.

Anyways, today dad asked me what I thought about him taking his Masters again. I said that I think he should, even though it would cost a lot of money and he'd been busy with that and school for the next few years (3 years I think it would be). I know part of the reason he didn't finish it before was because of me....and a lot of the other stuff that was going on at the time. So I guess I feel bad that he didn't get to do it then, so maybe that's why I keep telling him now that he should. But, I really think if it's still what he wants to do that he should go for it while he has the chance again. Even if the timing is a bit bad, especially if mom and dad get a divorce, etc.

He also asked me about going to church. Which really, surprised me. I've gone to church once I think. And that was with Jeri-Lynn, and it made no sense to me and all the people seemed really rude and stuck-up. I know, I used to think that of a lot of people, but still. That kind of tainted my view on church. Plus, Youth Group. I had fun a lot of times...but that was only because Brady was there and hanging out with me. If he wasn't there, or spent most of the time with someone else I felt left out and like I didn't really belong. But, that could just be me and how I think. I don't know.
 Anyways, dad asked if I believed in God. And I said I didn't know. And he gave me a shocked expression and said, "You don't know?" That....kinda pissed me off. Of course I don't know. I didn't grow up going to church, or reading bible stories or anything. We never really prayed, rarely said grace...etc, etc. And, it's not that I really don't know. Sometimes I do believe, but sometimes I don't. I can't explain it, and I'm not really going to try to.
Anyways, I told him I'd try going a few times, just to see how it was. Even though I'd really just rather not. So then I asked him if he thought Jonathon could sit through church, even if he didn't go every week. Dad said he'd have to. Well first off, Jonathon will probably have the same view on it as me. We didn't go to church or anything like Daphne did. It's just...foreign to us, pretty much. And telling him that he has to go to church until he's 18 (which is what dad said anyways) is a bit...oh, I don't know. Kinda crazy maybe. You just don't suddenly decide to go back to church after however many years, and force your kids to go. I don't know. Maybe it will be good, maybe Jonathon will like it.
I'm really good at babbling sometimes. Ha. But really, I think the whole church thing stemmed from the funeral dad was at yesterday. He said everyone was so nice, and that he'd really like to go back to church.

Anyways, I'm out of things to babble about

So, today was pretty good. I got my rogue up to level 29, then went into WSG. It was already like 2am, and I ended up being stuck in there for 2 1/2 hours...and here I was hoping I'd go in once or twice and be in bed in like 45 minutes. Nope. Oh well though, I got 60 honor, I guess that's alright. Though I died a lot near the end, we all did. Everyone started playing really badly because we were getting annoyed, but we still won!

Anyways, then me and Nate farmed leather for hours today...really. It was insane. I think it was about 5 hours altogether, plus the trips to towns, running...etc. Lots of time. It was fun though, we didn't even talk the whole time, and it was still nice.

And hmm...what else. Jonathon is at moms, I'm surprised he's stayed there more than one night. And Mrs. Belcourt's husbands funeral is on Monday. I think I'll go even though I didn't know him. Mrs. Belcourt was always so nice to me at school and I'd feel bad if I didn't go. And hmm...I cleaned a lot today. Got all the Christmas stuff taken down from upstairs. I think tomorrow I'll work on the basement...I'm really bored and babbling about nothing.

Anyways, Nate has been talking to Jenny all evening. It makes me jealous, but they hardly ever get to talk so it's okay. I guess. I'm still jealous and kinda annoyed. When I said I was going to bed he just said, "Night. <3" and that kinda annoyed me. I don't know why. I'm just going to bed, and he's having fun talking to Jenny. But, I wish he would have said more. Blah, blah. Oh well! :D

Mini Nate

Awww! Nate's little brother is so cute! He looks like...a mini Nate! His name is Tyson, and he's almost 2! So cute!!

To be honest, when I first saw this picture I was like O_O, and then when I asked who it was, he said it was his son...I almost died. But of course he was kidding...even though I still feel like maybe it could be his son and he's saying it isn't because of how I reacted...ahhh. Quit overthinking!

Fun Fun

Yay! I stayed over at Daphne's & Dan's, it was pretty cool. And I finally got myself new pants...not jeans like I'd wanted to get, but these are okay too (and I spent the last of my money on McDonalds. >_> BUT IT WAS GOOD). I also watched V for Vendetta..which was really, really weird, by the way. And I met Dan's brother girlfriend...who seems like...a spoiled brat. To put it bluntly. She didn't really seem really mean or anything, but then again she didn't really talk much. Anyways, we had pizza and they got their new couch and love seat, and I met Dan's mom. Very cool. Then today we hung out with SJ at the mall, that was fun. I saw so many things I wanted so bad. I'm glad I didn't have money. And I'm glad I got my pants first. Yep, yep. FUN.
Now, I'm waiting for Nate. Sorta. I really hope he's already slept for the day, because I already miss talking to him and want to talk to him a bit tonight, hopefully. But I don't know, I sorta think he'll wake up after midnight, and that's not cool. Then I'll be tempted to stay up and talk with him all night and morning, and my hours will be messed up. Haha. But, it would really be worth it. <3 I guess I'll see how it goes.

Tetris <3

I found a bunch of tabs for old NES games. I even got a tab for Tetris, and it's actually that fast-paced...crazy sounding kinda Russian-ish one. I don't know how to explain it, if you hear it you'll know what I mean. It's not really hard, but I keep getting the frets mixed up, so it sounds pretty bad as of now. :D

The Worst Creation

Geez. What is with dad? A little while ago he suddenly went out for some reason, and said something about women being the worst creation (or something like that) ever. Which...okay. Sure. Whatever...then he tries to explain it to me. I seriously don't care whatever is going on with whoever the hell you might be talking to...I DON'T CARE. Does the walking away while you're talking not give the hint? I'm sorry if it was rude, but how else will you shut up?
Then he keeps asking me if he's timid. And I say, "No, not really." then he'll ask me if I'm sure, or say, "Well if I was timid I wouldn't be able to do -insert random stupid thing here-."
Then he keeps asking if he's overly apologetic...which I said yes to. But he asked me like 4 more times...COME ON. JUST...shut up. Then of course, he apologized a few times for asking, then a few more times for bothering me. alskdjlk.
I'm so frustrated. I don't mind talking with dad and hanging out with him, but he keeps going on his stupid...whatever they are. He'll just babble and ask stupid questions, and I want to scream at him. alkjdlkjfkasjkjf
All better.

Anyways, Nate decided to play WoW last night. We played for hours...I was so happy. ^_^ I just had to say that, because it makes me happy. He seemed to have a lot of fun too, so I was happy about that. We're going to go into WSG together once he hits level 29. /cheer

New Years '07

Last night was pretty good, better than I expected. I got to spend a lot more time talking with Nate than I thought I would, though I think he was a bit annoyed/sad that I kept leaving so much. And then when I finally just got to talk with him without people bugging me or him, he was sick and ended up going to bed. But it was still alright. We ended up talking to a bunch of stoners, and they were all getting high on cam for a while. It was really funny.

Then of course, Daphne, Dan, SJ, Sarah and Nathan were all here too, so things were pretty interesting. Nathan showed me his character on Guild Wars, then his level 60 shadow priest on WoW, which was pretty cool. And they were singing karaoke downstairs, which I wasn't really around to see, but I could hear them and it was pretty funny.