I'm so pissed off. I'm really just tired, and I should have been in bed hours ago, and I haven't been sleeping good...but I'm really pissed off.
Dad isn't home tonight. He said he was just going to be gone for the day, but I guess by day he meant 24 hours or something. I don't know. That makes me angry, because he didn't even say he was going to be gone overnight, which I think he really should. I could have just called and said, "Well, thanks for letting us know you weren't coming home." but...I'm done caring for the time being. I'm just so angry, and he can go and try to forget about mom by pretending he's happy seeing all these random women. Don't care.
Blah, blah. Then, I keep getting frustrated/upset at Nate. Sometimes he'll do/say something and it makes me really angry, then I'm suddenly sad about it. I guess I feel sad because I don't want to be upset at him. And we're slowly growing farther apart. Maybe that's what's upsetting me too.
I don't know. I hope this doesn't make sense, and is full of silly spelling mistakes.
Jan 31, 2007
Jan 22, 2007
So Disgusting
I'm so angry. So I wake up at around 8:15 this morning because the dogs are barking at something. Not unusualy, but very annoying seeing as I only managed to fall asleep around 3am. So I get up and go to feed the dogs and notice some weird stuff all over the rug by the couch. It really looked like one of the dogs pooped all over...like it got all squished in the rug or something (gross though, I know. Sorry.). So, that really pisses me off, because when I look closer it looks someone picked up some of it but left the rest. Okay, WTF. I don't care what it is, you don't just clean up half and leave the rest. Especially if its in the rug, I mean ajkhdkjhk!!!!! It makes me really upset because you can tell it's been there a while, and dad and Jonathon could have at least tried to clean it up better. But no....they were just going to leave it so it dried in the rug. Ew. :
Anyways, so I got out the rug cleaner stuff and put that on and when I just tried to clean it after letting it soak a bit..well. It's still pretty much stuck in the rug and it looks gross. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only one spot, but it's like 4 or 5 spots on the rug, not small ones either. Gross, gross, gross. And why is there a towel in the garbage in the bathroom?! aksjklj Seriously. Not what I wanted to wake up to. And now I can't get back to sleep.
Anyways, so I got out the rug cleaner stuff and put that on and when I just tried to clean it after letting it soak a bit..well. It's still pretty much stuck in the rug and it looks gross. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only one spot, but it's like 4 or 5 spots on the rug, not small ones either. Gross, gross, gross. And why is there a towel in the garbage in the bathroom?! aksjklj Seriously. Not what I wanted to wake up to. And now I can't get back to sleep.
Jan 16, 2007
You don't know if you believe in God?
Ergblah. I feel so sick. My stomach hurts and I feel like I should get sick any minute, but I don't. Which is annoying in itself. My head hurts, probably a headache from not drinking enough today..or yesterday I guess. And I can't sleep anymore. Damnit, damnit, damnit. And everyone is having fun on Burning Crusade and I want to put in a movie so I can hopefully fall asleep but the dvd player isn't really working right so I can't. And my body feels achy and my mouth is dry but I'm not even going to try to drink anything. We have no pepto bismol stuff....my room is too bloody hot even with the window open...
Other than that, I think I'm doing good.
Anyways, today dad asked me what I thought about him taking his Masters again. I said that I think he should, even though it would cost a lot of money and he'd been busy with that and school for the next few years (3 years I think it would be). I know part of the reason he didn't finish it before was because of me....and a lot of the other stuff that was going on at the time. So I guess I feel bad that he didn't get to do it then, so maybe that's why I keep telling him now that he should. But, I really think if it's still what he wants to do that he should go for it while he has the chance again. Even if the timing is a bit bad, especially if mom and dad get a divorce, etc.
He also asked me about going to church. Which really, surprised me. I've gone to church once I think. And that was with Jeri-Lynn, and it made no sense to me and all the people seemed really rude and stuck-up. I know, I used to think that of a lot of people, but still. That kind of tainted my view on church. Plus, Youth Group. I had fun a lot of times...but that was only because Brady was there and hanging out with me. If he wasn't there, or spent most of the time with someone else I felt left out and like I didn't really belong. But, that could just be me and how I think. I don't know.
Anyways, dad asked if I believed in God. And I said I didn't know. And he gave me a shocked expression and said, "You don't know?" That....kinda pissed me off. Of course I don't know. I didn't grow up going to church, or reading bible stories or anything. We never really prayed, rarely said grace...etc, etc. And, it's not that I really don't know. Sometimes I do believe, but sometimes I don't. I can't explain it, and I'm not really going to try to.
Anyways, I told him I'd try going a few times, just to see how it was. Even though I'd really just rather not. So then I asked him if he thought Jonathon could sit through church, even if he didn't go every week. Dad said he'd have to. Well first off, Jonathon will probably have the same view on it as me. We didn't go to church or anything like Daphne did. It's just...foreign to us, pretty much. And telling him that he has to go to church until he's 18 (which is what dad said anyways) is a bit...oh, I don't know. Kinda crazy maybe. You just don't suddenly decide to go back to church after however many years, and force your kids to go. I don't know. Maybe it will be good, maybe Jonathon will like it.
I'm really good at babbling sometimes. Ha. But really, I think the whole church thing stemmed from the funeral dad was at yesterday. He said everyone was so nice, and that he'd really like to go back to church.
Anyways, I'm out of things to babble about
Other than that, I think I'm doing good.
Anyways, today dad asked me what I thought about him taking his Masters again. I said that I think he should, even though it would cost a lot of money and he'd been busy with that and school for the next few years (3 years I think it would be). I know part of the reason he didn't finish it before was because of me....and a lot of the other stuff that was going on at the time. So I guess I feel bad that he didn't get to do it then, so maybe that's why I keep telling him now that he should. But, I really think if it's still what he wants to do that he should go for it while he has the chance again. Even if the timing is a bit bad, especially if mom and dad get a divorce, etc.
He also asked me about going to church. Which really, surprised me. I've gone to church once I think. And that was with Jeri-Lynn, and it made no sense to me and all the people seemed really rude and stuck-up. I know, I used to think that of a lot of people, but still. That kind of tainted my view on church. Plus, Youth Group. I had fun a lot of times...but that was only because Brady was there and hanging out with me. If he wasn't there, or spent most of the time with someone else I felt left out and like I didn't really belong. But, that could just be me and how I think. I don't know.
Anyways, dad asked if I believed in God. And I said I didn't know. And he gave me a shocked expression and said, "You don't know?" That....kinda pissed me off. Of course I don't know. I didn't grow up going to church, or reading bible stories or anything. We never really prayed, rarely said grace...etc, etc. And, it's not that I really don't know. Sometimes I do believe, but sometimes I don't. I can't explain it, and I'm not really going to try to.
Anyways, I told him I'd try going a few times, just to see how it was. Even though I'd really just rather not. So then I asked him if he thought Jonathon could sit through church, even if he didn't go every week. Dad said he'd have to. Well first off, Jonathon will probably have the same view on it as me. We didn't go to church or anything like Daphne did. It's just...foreign to us, pretty much. And telling him that he has to go to church until he's 18 (which is what dad said anyways) is a bit...oh, I don't know. Kinda crazy maybe. You just don't suddenly decide to go back to church after however many years, and force your kids to go. I don't know. Maybe it will be good, maybe Jonathon will like it.
I'm really good at babbling sometimes. Ha. But really, I think the whole church thing stemmed from the funeral dad was at yesterday. He said everyone was so nice, and that he'd really like to go back to church.
Anyways, I'm out of things to babble about
Jan 14, 2007
So, today was pretty good. I got my rogue up to level 29, then went into WSG. It was already like 2am, and I ended up being stuck in there for 2 1/2 hours...and here I was hoping I'd go in once or twice and be in bed in like 45 minutes. Nope. Oh well though, I got 60 honor, I guess that's alright. Though I died a lot near the end, we all did. Everyone started playing really badly because we were getting annoyed, but we still won!
Anyways, then me and Nate farmed leather for hours today...really. It was insane. I think it was about 5 hours altogether, plus the trips to towns, running...etc. Lots of time. It was fun though, we didn't even talk the whole time, and it was still nice.
And hmm...what else. Jonathon is at moms, I'm surprised he's stayed there more than one night. And Mrs. Belcourt's husbands funeral is on Monday. I think I'll go even though I didn't know him. Mrs. Belcourt was always so nice to me at school and I'd feel bad if I didn't go. And hmm...I cleaned a lot today. Got all the Christmas stuff taken down from upstairs. I think tomorrow I'll work on the basement...I'm really bored and babbling about nothing.
Anyways, Nate has been talking to Jenny all evening. It makes me jealous, but they hardly ever get to talk so it's okay. I guess. I'm still jealous and kinda annoyed. When I said I was going to bed he just said, "Night. <3" and that kinda annoyed me. I don't know why. I'm just going to bed, and he's having fun talking to Jenny. But, I wish he would have said more. Blah, blah. Oh well! :D
Anyways, then me and Nate farmed leather for hours today...really. It was insane. I think it was about 5 hours altogether, plus the trips to towns, running...etc. Lots of time. It was fun though, we didn't even talk the whole time, and it was still nice.
And hmm...what else. Jonathon is at moms, I'm surprised he's stayed there more than one night. And Mrs. Belcourt's husbands funeral is on Monday. I think I'll go even though I didn't know him. Mrs. Belcourt was always so nice to me at school and I'd feel bad if I didn't go. And hmm...I cleaned a lot today. Got all the Christmas stuff taken down from upstairs. I think tomorrow I'll work on the basement...I'm really bored and babbling about nothing.
Anyways, Nate has been talking to Jenny all evening. It makes me jealous, but they hardly ever get to talk so it's okay. I guess. I'm still jealous and kinda annoyed. When I said I was going to bed he just said, "Night. <3" and that kinda annoyed me. I don't know why. I'm just going to bed, and he's having fun talking to Jenny. But, I wish he would have said more. Blah, blah. Oh well! :D
Jan 10, 2007
Mini Nate
Awww! Nate's little brother is so cute! He looks like...a mini Nate! His name is Tyson, and he's almost 2! So cute!!
To be honest, when I first saw this picture I was like O_O, and then when I asked who it was, he said it was his son...I almost died. But of course he was kidding...even though I still feel like maybe it could be his son and he's saying it isn't because of how I reacted...ahhh. Quit overthinking!
Jan 7, 2007
Fun Fun
Yay! I stayed over at Daphne's & Dan's, it was pretty cool. And I finally got myself new pants...not jeans like I'd wanted to get, but these are okay too (and I spent the last of my money on McDonalds. >_> BUT IT WAS GOOD). I also watched V for Vendetta..which was really, really weird, by the way. And I met Dan's brother girlfriend...who seems like...a spoiled brat. To put it bluntly. She didn't really seem really mean or anything, but then again she didn't really talk much. Anyways, we had pizza and they got their new couch and love seat, and I met Dan's mom. Very cool. Then today we hung out with SJ at the mall, that was fun. I saw so many things I wanted so bad. I'm glad I didn't have money. And I'm glad I got my pants first. Yep, yep. FUN.
Now, I'm waiting for Nate. Sorta. I really hope he's already slept for the day, because I already miss talking to him and want to talk to him a bit tonight, hopefully. But I don't know, I sorta think he'll wake up after midnight, and that's not cool. Then I'll be tempted to stay up and talk with him all night and morning, and my hours will be messed up. Haha. But, it would really be worth it. <3 I guess I'll see how it goes.
Now, I'm waiting for Nate. Sorta. I really hope he's already slept for the day, because I already miss talking to him and want to talk to him a bit tonight, hopefully. But I don't know, I sorta think he'll wake up after midnight, and that's not cool. Then I'll be tempted to stay up and talk with him all night and morning, and my hours will be messed up. Haha. But, it would really be worth it. <3 I guess I'll see how it goes.
Jan 3, 2007
Tetris <3
I found a bunch of tabs for old NES games. I even got a tab for Tetris, and it's actually that fast-paced...crazy sounding kinda Russian-ish one. I don't know how to explain it, if you hear it you'll know what I mean. It's not really hard, but I keep getting the frets mixed up, so it sounds pretty bad as of now. :D
The Worst Creation
Geez. What is with dad? A little while ago he suddenly went out for some reason, and said something about women being the worst creation (or something like that) ever. Which...okay. Sure. Whatever...then he tries to explain it to me. I seriously don't care whatever is going on with whoever the hell you might be talking to...I DON'T CARE. Does the walking away while you're talking not give the hint? I'm sorry if it was rude, but how else will you shut up?
Then he keeps asking me if he's timid. And I say, "No, not really." then he'll ask me if I'm sure, or say, "Well if I was timid I wouldn't be able to do -insert random stupid thing here-."
Then he keeps asking if he's overly apologetic...which I said yes to. But he asked me like 4 more times...COME ON. JUST...shut up. Then of course, he apologized a few times for asking, then a few more times for bothering me. alskdjlk.
I'm so frustrated. I don't mind talking with dad and hanging out with him, but he keeps going on his stupid...whatever they are. He'll just babble and ask stupid questions, and I want to scream at him. alkjdlkjfkasjkjf
All better.
Anyways, Nate decided to play WoW last night. We played for hours...I was so happy. ^_^ I just had to say that, because it makes me happy. He seemed to have a lot of fun too, so I was happy about that. We're going to go into WSG together once he hits level 29. /cheer
Then he keeps asking me if he's timid. And I say, "No, not really." then he'll ask me if I'm sure, or say, "Well if I was timid I wouldn't be able to do -insert random stupid thing here-."
Then he keeps asking if he's overly apologetic...which I said yes to. But he asked me like 4 more times...COME ON. JUST...shut up. Then of course, he apologized a few times for asking, then a few more times for bothering me. alskdjlk.
I'm so frustrated. I don't mind talking with dad and hanging out with him, but he keeps going on his stupid...whatever they are. He'll just babble and ask stupid questions, and I want to scream at him. alkjdlkjfkasjkjf
All better.
Anyways, Nate decided to play WoW last night. We played for hours...I was so happy. ^_^ I just had to say that, because it makes me happy. He seemed to have a lot of fun too, so I was happy about that. We're going to go into WSG together once he hits level 29. /cheer
Jan 1, 2007
New Years '07
Last night was pretty good, better than I expected. I got to spend a lot more time talking with Nate than I thought I would, though I think he was a bit annoyed/sad that I kept leaving so much. And then when I finally just got to talk with him without people bugging me or him, he was sick and ended up going to bed. But it was still alright. We ended up talking to a bunch of stoners, and they were all getting high on cam for a while. It was really funny.
Then of course, Daphne, Dan, SJ, Sarah and Nathan were all here too, so things were pretty interesting. Nathan showed me his character on Guild Wars, then his level 60 shadow priest on WoW, which was pretty cool. And they were singing karaoke downstairs, which I wasn't really around to see, but I could hear them and it was pretty funny.
Then of course, Daphne, Dan, SJ, Sarah and Nathan were all here too, so things were pretty interesting. Nathan showed me his character on Guild Wars, then his level 60 shadow priest on WoW, which was pretty cool. And they were singing karaoke downstairs, which I wasn't really around to see, but I could hear them and it was pretty funny.
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