You don't know if you believe in God?

Ergblah. I feel so sick. My stomach hurts and I feel like I should get sick any minute, but I don't. Which is annoying in itself. My head hurts, probably a headache from not drinking enough today..or yesterday I guess. And I can't sleep anymore. Damnit, damnit, damnit. And everyone is having fun on Burning Crusade and I want to put in a movie so I can hopefully fall asleep but the dvd player isn't really working right so I can't. And my body feels achy and my mouth is dry but I'm not even going to try to drink anything. We have no pepto bismol stuff....my room is too bloody hot even with the window open...

Other than that, I think I'm doing good.

Anyways, today dad asked me what I thought about him taking his Masters again. I said that I think he should, even though it would cost a lot of money and he'd been busy with that and school for the next few years (3 years I think it would be). I know part of the reason he didn't finish it before was because of me....and a lot of the other stuff that was going on at the time. So I guess I feel bad that he didn't get to do it then, so maybe that's why I keep telling him now that he should. But, I really think if it's still what he wants to do that he should go for it while he has the chance again. Even if the timing is a bit bad, especially if mom and dad get a divorce, etc.

He also asked me about going to church. Which really, surprised me. I've gone to church once I think. And that was with Jeri-Lynn, and it made no sense to me and all the people seemed really rude and stuck-up. I know, I used to think that of a lot of people, but still. That kind of tainted my view on church. Plus, Youth Group. I had fun a lot of times...but that was only because Brady was there and hanging out with me. If he wasn't there, or spent most of the time with someone else I felt left out and like I didn't really belong. But, that could just be me and how I think. I don't know.
 Anyways, dad asked if I believed in God. And I said I didn't know. And he gave me a shocked expression and said, "You don't know?" That....kinda pissed me off. Of course I don't know. I didn't grow up going to church, or reading bible stories or anything. We never really prayed, rarely said grace...etc, etc. And, it's not that I really don't know. Sometimes I do believe, but sometimes I don't. I can't explain it, and I'm not really going to try to.
Anyways, I told him I'd try going a few times, just to see how it was. Even though I'd really just rather not. So then I asked him if he thought Jonathon could sit through church, even if he didn't go every week. Dad said he'd have to. Well first off, Jonathon will probably have the same view on it as me. We didn't go to church or anything like Daphne did. It's just...foreign to us, pretty much. And telling him that he has to go to church until he's 18 (which is what dad said anyways) is a bit...oh, I don't know. Kinda crazy maybe. You just don't suddenly decide to go back to church after however many years, and force your kids to go. I don't know. Maybe it will be good, maybe Jonathon will like it.
I'm really good at babbling sometimes. Ha. But really, I think the whole church thing stemmed from the funeral dad was at yesterday. He said everyone was so nice, and that he'd really like to go back to church.

Anyways, I'm out of things to babble about